Contentment

One of the most difficult times in my life was when I moved back to Utah from New Jersey. Living in New Jersey I found myself. I really grew up. It was the first time in my life where I had girlfriends that loved me as much as my own sisters. They are the type who will tell you that your feet stink but you know that they would beat the crap out of anyone else that would say that to you.
The adjustment was hard. I moved back to finish my Bachelor's degree but by that time I didn't have many friends and I missed the fast-paced adventurous part of the east coast. The only thing that I did have were the annual trips we took each year. I can't begin to express what these trips mean to me. It is so much more than a chance to explore new places and cultures. It is OUR time to come together and know that we will always have each other.
During the short stint in Utah, I had a conversation with my friend Jill. I confessed that I knew I was depressed and that I was greatly anticipating our trip. During those two years it was really the only good thing I had going for me. She made a comment to me that although the specific words have left, I will never forget the message. She explained to me that I needed to figure out how to have joy despite the fact that I was unhappy with where I was at in life. She mentioned that it was nice to have things to look forward to but at some point you must be happy and content with the "day to day".
I haven't thought much about that conversation until my last posting. The sadness and feelings of depression have long since abandoned me. In my last post I mentioned that this year would be less about outside things like obtaining "stuff" or taking trips. I didn't mean to make this sound regretful. I wanted to say that for the first time I am comfortable with my "day to day". I was always in search of the "next great adventure" but sometimes I wonder if it was a cover-up for discontentment. In this moment, I feel like I have finally arrived...
The trips will continue and so will "the list". Growth and progression are necessities for happiness but I have realized that so much of that takes place inside of us...