Bittersweet...

One of the few conversations I remember having with my grandmother was when I was about thirteen. In her final years, she would stay in the car when my grandparents would come visit and we would run out and talk with them in the driveway. Her and I were talking about school and friends. My family had just moved the year between elementary and middle school and I was having a difficult time adjusting. I explained to her my mixed emotions on the move. She used the term "bittersweet". That has always stuck with me. She told me that it was ok to have positive and negative feelings regarding the same issue. Until that point I think I always felt I had to be completely for or against things going on in my life.
Today is pretty much the epitome of bittersweet. I have made many decisions in my life that have been difficult and have resulted in a love/hate conflict. I feel like they always lead me to the place I need to end up. They always move me closer to my goals and in the direction I want to be. They are however, still HARD. I am really excited to finally spend time with John on a daily basis again. I am excited to have conversations in person and to avoid a plane ride before heading out on our dates. As for tonight, I spend this last evening in PA reviewing my time here. I have made some good friends in this short time. I have learned a lot of things about myself and my field of work. I contemplate how blessed I have been with protection and comfort being here on my own. More sweet than bitter, but definately bittersweet...