Buen Viajes!!!
This last week has been pretty crazy! I got to NJ ok and together with four of my closest girls we flew to Argentina. I wasnt really sure what to expect when I first got here and so far it has proven to be a much different experience than I had anticipated. The first day was spent traveling....around 16 hours total (thanks Jenn for the "drogas") Our first day out we took a tour around the city so we could get an overall view of what Buenos Aires had to offer. My first impression was that it reminds me a lot of New York City. It is densly populated and the traffic is ridiculous. (thankful now for our chauffers) It has been great to finally have some practical experience using the Spanish I learned from all of those $100 textbooks in undergrad. The tour was almost a joke for us. It seems that many of the pictures and things people told us about the city are a tad oudated especially since nothing is as it appears in printed media and the words they speak are not adequate to describe the city. Whoever compared it to the "Paris" of South America was sadly mistaken however it still holds the adventure that our groups seeks year after year. Thanks to RiLee (she talks to everyone! anywhere!) we have made a lot of new friends from all over the world...(no stalkers named Michael like years past) Yesterday we decided to get out of the city so we thought we might as well just leave the country for a day. Bienvenidos a Uruguay....can I just say wow! We visited a river town called Colonia which sits on the river Plata that runs between the two countries. We had some amazing adventures and took some fabulous pictures. (ill post later when I have access to my laptop) Anyways today we went to the countryside of Argentina and visited a gaucho ranch. There we were able to ride horses (fast becoming one of our traditions), watch traditional dancing, horse races, and listen to live music. Best of all we got to have this huge "gaucho BBQ" full of homemade empanadas, chorizo, blood pudding, roast chicken, and one of their major exports...beef. It was delicious and all cooked on a huge outdoor fire pit with a method called "asado". Quite an experience. Anyways, that is all for now.....
Unadulterated Nostalgia...
It is so strange being back in Utah. Some many different emotions have come back to me in the short time I have been home. It's hard knowing that I am different than the person that I was here and also that most of my recent memories of this place are now on my "do not remember because it's too painful" list. It makes it seem as though I have been away so much longer than I really have...bittersweet. Do you ever have those places and people that you return to and it feels as though nothing is different? It's comfortable, warm, reassuring....I wish this could be like that. I think I underestimated how easy it would be. I think I expected him to return. I think I expected to make more memories to add to our book of adventures. I think I expected to talk to him again face to face and to see what a big mistake we made. I expected for it to be different. Damn those expectations.
Karaoke Queens....with a hint of Asian.
The sushi trance....
So this week has been CrAzY as I prepare to go on vacay for six weeks and I am trying to pack up my entire apartment since I am moving....We decided we needed a girls night out to enjoy pure ecstacy in the form of grade A sushi and karaoke. There is this fantastic place in Fresno that plays 80's music, has karaoke EVERY night, and a rockin sushi roll....Crouching Tiger, Las Vegas, and Yummy Yummy are among our favorites to order....Rachel amazed us with her version of Lean on Me and Amanda and I butchered Time After Time...(Ok, let's be honest. Amanda has an amazing voice...I was the sole butcher). Somehow Candace got away without singing (totally against rules when you hang in my crowd. Your first time requires you sing a solo as part of our initiation rituals...We'll get you back Candace!) I guess we can go easy on her since up till that night she was a complete sushi virgin...welcome to the dark side!
The wedding...
Congratulations Javier and Anna! Tonight was the wedding and I am so excited for them to begin their new life together. They had awesome Mexican food and latin music....one big fat party!
We also
decorated their car to send them off in style!
This is me....trying to be SINGLE.
Ok, so.... I'm reading this new book called "How to be Single" by Liz Tuccillo. I'm only on ch. three but it has already had the ability to unearth many thoughts and ideas about the idea of "singledom".
For those of you that haven't heard, I recently broke up with Jason. It has been an interesting break-up given that since I have been in CA (almost a yr) this will be the first time I can authentically consider myself single in this state. Now for those of you that don't know me...the single card is one I ordinarily play quite well. I never dated in high school and I was never "that girl" that always needed to be in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. So now after two consecutive long-term relationships I find myself conflicted and needing to redefine "me" as "single".
My entire life has been based on "the list". It involves completion dates and boxes to check and whole lot of things I want to do or experience. It includes but is certainly not limited to graduate college...check...travel the world...check...live in another country...learn another language...skydive...skinnydip...dye my hair red ...check...check...check...check...check...Master's degree...in progress. This list involves most all of the experiences that have shaped my character and personality. It began when I was thirteen and continues to grow.
Let's leave "the list" behind momentarily and travel back three years...Subject: New Jersey. I am so blessed to have met an incredible group of brilliant, beautiful, accomplished women. We are very close and though each of us is as different as night and day one common thread binds us. The idea that our worth and character are based on our indiviual choices and goals and not contingent upon our marital staus. Through river rafting, roadtrips, cooking, exploring NYC, traveling, all night chats,etc...I learned to embrace life and to quit conditioning my goals and aspirations to "when I get married I will do..." or "if I had a boyfriend I would..."There was no place for that there.
Fast forward now to CA where three years of serious relationshipping has left me unable to find that power I once had in being single...the power forgotten, lost, or perhaps simply just unrecognizeable. I sit here tonight wondering how I can reconnect to that. To find joy and measure unassociated with a simple "M" or "S". I add another item to "the list" and allow myself to consider options of my future that would be deemed "absolutely ridiculous" by those of a married sort. I take delight in knowing that "the list" is my key to a regret-free life. I excite at the opportunities I will embrace and wonder who will be the woman at the end of the day when "the list" is full of completion dates and check marks. What will she look like? How will she think? What things will she contribute to the world?
A single man of 32 surrounded by successful, ambitious, beautiful women is asked why when in a religion based so strongly on the importance of families and marriage won't he take one of those lovely ladies out on a date. He complains that they are "so independent" and they have "other things going on" so surely they aren't interested in a relationship.
"The list" is full and I have a newfound commitment to rediscover and embrace my "singledom". I will pretend not to cringe at the next family gathering or class reunion when people will ask "where's Jason?" or "why are you single?". I will pretend that on the lists of blogs that say "Ben and Ashley" or "Aaron and Jamie" that I like my blog listed simply as "Maegan". I will pretend the 32 year-old is right...that I have much better things to do than to be "involved" and that "the list" is indeed my sole directive. However, as much as I love my life as it is now (and genuinely no sarcasm intended there), "the list" still is and always will continue to be, titled "My Plan B".
For those of you that haven't heard, I recently broke up with Jason. It has been an interesting break-up given that since I have been in CA (almost a yr) this will be the first time I can authentically consider myself single in this state. Now for those of you that don't know me...the single card is one I ordinarily play quite well. I never dated in high school and I was never "that girl" that always needed to be in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. So now after two consecutive long-term relationships I find myself conflicted and needing to redefine "me" as "single".
My entire life has been based on "the list". It involves completion dates and boxes to check and whole lot of things I want to do or experience. It includes but is certainly not limited to graduate college...check...travel the world...check...live in another country...learn another language...skydive...skinnydip...dye my hair red ...check...check...check...check...check...Master's degree...in progress. This list involves most all of the experiences that have shaped my character and personality. It began when I was thirteen and continues to grow.
Let's leave "the list" behind momentarily and travel back three years...Subject: New Jersey. I am so blessed to have met an incredible group of brilliant, beautiful, accomplished women. We are very close and though each of us is as different as night and day one common thread binds us. The idea that our worth and character are based on our indiviual choices and goals and not contingent upon our marital staus. Through river rafting, roadtrips, cooking, exploring NYC, traveling, all night chats,etc...I learned to embrace life and to quit conditioning my goals and aspirations to "when I get married I will do..." or "if I had a boyfriend I would..."There was no place for that there.
Fast forward now to CA where three years of serious relationshipping has left me unable to find that power I once had in being single...the power forgotten, lost, or perhaps simply just unrecognizeable. I sit here tonight wondering how I can reconnect to that. To find joy and measure unassociated with a simple "M" or "S". I add another item to "the list" and allow myself to consider options of my future that would be deemed "absolutely ridiculous" by those of a married sort. I take delight in knowing that "the list" is my key to a regret-free life. I excite at the opportunities I will embrace and wonder who will be the woman at the end of the day when "the list" is full of completion dates and check marks. What will she look like? How will she think? What things will she contribute to the world?
A single man of 32 surrounded by successful, ambitious, beautiful women is asked why when in a religion based so strongly on the importance of families and marriage won't he take one of those lovely ladies out on a date. He complains that they are "so independent" and they have "other things going on" so surely they aren't interested in a relationship.
"The list" is full and I have a newfound commitment to rediscover and embrace my "singledom". I will pretend not to cringe at the next family gathering or class reunion when people will ask "where's Jason?" or "why are you single?". I will pretend that on the lists of blogs that say "Ben and Ashley" or "Aaron and Jamie" that I like my blog listed simply as "Maegan". I will pretend the 32 year-old is right...that I have much better things to do than to be "involved" and that "the list" is indeed my sole directive. However, as much as I love my life as it is now (and genuinely no sarcasm intended there), "the list" still is and always will continue to be, titled "My Plan B".
SCRAP-A-THON
This weekend we had an amazing scrabook-a-thon...When I lived in NJ we had them monthly where everyone would come and scrap all night long. I miss them so much and finally I found three girls to join in with me and we had a blast! We had girl talk, fabulous music and homemade snickerdoodles (thanks Amanda)...My apt was a disaster as it is not large enough to accomodate all of our scrapbook stuff! I got a lot done on my trip to Bear Lake and Spain and I can't wait till we can get together and do it again. Thanks Ladies!
Finally the night ended at 4:30 AM...We were exhausted from a night of full on creativeness and girl chat....This very well might be Anna's last night in the circle bed sleeping with us....;(
Also this was Anna's first time scrapbooking and she did an AMAZING job on her book of her and Javier.I think she is officially hooked...
Anticipated visit...
My mom just got a ticket to come out and visit me. I am so excited for her to come out and see the life that I have created here in California. I am also very much looking forward to her company as we drive to Utah for the Fourth of July. I miss my family and mostly my Mother. She is such a great support to me as I work towards reaching my goals here and I am so lucky to grow up in a home where I could learn that anything is possible...just not everything. My parents have never limited my crazy ideas and goals and have truly exemplified a freedom of choice in their children. For this priceless gift I am indeed grateful...thanks Mom!
As promised...
...the picture I promised to provide. Also please note that I chose not to blog our sushi night on account that you called it first...Thanks for everything!
Running for cookies....
Ok, so Anna and I have started running again(finally)... tonight we went out and Amanda joined us. Wow, I think I may have had a minor heart attack... I loved that we all decided to run to Amanda's house to get stuff for cookies. We came back to my house and ate cookies and chatted girl talk. (This is our version of being healthy) Anna is getting married soon and I am so sad to be losing such an amazing single friend. She has been a committed gym partner and great example to me. She speaks beautiful Spanish and somehow convinced me to get brave and sing in church. Also my car has never looked so clean! I am so lucky to call you FRIEND I love you Anna!!! Yo espero que tu tengas muchas buenas cosas en su vida y por favor nunca me olvida cuando tu empieza su nueva vida.
Summer break...
Ok, so I want to keep everyone posted on how everything is going here in central CA. I just finished the semester and finally summer is here. I have looked forward to this for the last 4 months of my life as a time for laying by the pool, reading the enormously large stack of unopened books on my shelves, reviewing current research in mental health, cooking up gourmet masterpieces, and traveling through CA with intense focus on the beach and hiking trails. Alas here I am two weeks into the summer and I have merely completely the one single book for book club, I still maintain my light farmer tan for lack of pool time, and with gas prices at $4.50 a gallon I have made one measly trip to the Gilroy outlets two hrs away. Research is still untouched...
...The time hasn't been completely wasted however, I have been organizing my summer trips and working a lot. I love what I do and I am excited to get out of CA for a bit. I am leaving for UTAH on the 19th and for NEW JERSEY on the 21st. I am so excited to see my girlfriends again and to enjoy the culture and couture of NYC. It's amazing to think that I have lived away from there for four yrs now.....time flies.
...The time hasn't been completely wasted however, I have been organizing my summer trips and working a lot. I love what I do and I am excited to get out of CA for a bit. I am leaving for UTAH on the 19th and for NEW JERSEY on the 21st. I am so excited to see my girlfriends again and to enjoy the culture and couture of NYC. It's amazing to think that I have lived away from there for four yrs now.....time flies.
Love letter for Amanda Jane...
Thank you Amanda Jane for introducing me to the world of blogging. I am new yet I am sure my addictive personality will catch the blogging drift and off I will sail to a world of words and pictures posted for all to see. Truly you are my inspiration for life, dedication, enduring, and love...well forget the love we both know that we suck at that. However in living we are quite skilled and I am so thankful for your friendship and support. From one blogger to another I say let us rejoice in our singledom and embrace our mad skills of sushi rolling, cheesecake caramel apples, and yes rooting for the rejects. I love you.
Amateur Blogger
This is my blog. Perhaps one day it will meet the caliber of Joan Didion....one can only hope.
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