Unadulterated Nostalgia...

It is so strange being back in Utah. Some many different emotions have come back to me in the short time I have been home. It's hard knowing that I am different than the person that I was here and also that most of my recent memories of this place are now on my "do not remember because it's too painful" list. It makes it seem as though I have been away so much longer than I really have...bittersweet. Do you ever have those places and people that you return to and it feels as though nothing is different? It's comfortable, warm, reassuring....I wish this could be like that. I think I underestimated how easy it would be. I think I expected him to return. I think I expected to make more memories to add to our book of adventures. I think I expected to talk to him again face to face and to see what a big mistake we made. I expected for it to be different. Damn those expectations.