There is something about being completely imersed in water. Feeling completely weightless. You can't hear anything but the distinct sounds of the water moving around you. I love to swim laps in the gym. I get lost and for the time spent at the pool, I am completely checked out. At my job I am required to be completely aware and in the moment. It takes more energy than one might realize. To remain completely in tune with all that is going on around you. To be physically, mentally, and emotionally present.
When I swim laps, I develop a rhythm, albeit slow, it is so methodical that my body can go through the motions but my mind gets to move on to a place I cannot physically be. I am taken back to the summer I spent in the south of France. My mind goes here a lot when I swim. I can almost taste the air again. The dry almost floral scent along with the sound of the cicadas chirping in the distance. Every morning I had the pleasure of going jogging through the vineyards and wheat fields that surrounded our summer villa. The rolling hills were unbelievable. The colors so vibrant and views breathtaking. My words fail me here.
Perhaps what I recall best were the feelings I felt there. The early morning heat beat down on me but I felt so free! My jog was slow but I felt on top of the world. Here I was in country with a culture and language to which I was not accustomed. The land welcomed me and graced me with feelings I haven't felt since. Here in this new land, I found myself again. Perhaps the best version of myself I had ever seen.
When I returned to our villa, I jumped straight into the pool. The cool water removing any resemblence of sweat or heat from my body. The difference in those laps and the ones I swim today were that I wanted to stay in that moment forever. I didn't swim to escape. Those laps were different...an embrace.
My time in France was my first time leaving the country. Perhaps this explains why those memories from over 8 years ago remain so vivid. Since then I have been able to add more memories and experiences. When I dive off the edge of the pool though, the memories of France and who I was there are among my most frequent "water thoughts". At times I have tinges of regret that haunt me in the pool when I think of how far I am today. Thankfulness eventually steps in to remind me that I am lucky that I could have a small taste of these feelings and mindset I may spend the rest of my life pursuing. I believe that someday I will return to that place.
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