I know this time of year everyone claims to have the "best dad ever". I do. I grew up in a large family where my father often worked more than one job just to "make ends meet". We had a comfortable, simple home. We always had food to eat and clean clothes to wear but with six children our funding was limited for things like entertainment, restaurants, and extracurriculars. As an adult I recognize the things my parents would do to save money that as a child seemed "pretty normal". I never once remember feeling poor or unfortunate. Saturday mornings my dad would wake us up early and take us on hikes in the mountains. We would be gone for hours and I would learn so much. He spoke to us as adults and I honestly feel this time spent with him helped me expand my vocabulary and learn new things that I didn't realize then, but later would become invaluable.
My father sacrificed time to help out with every science fair project, taught us to grow crystals, make yogurt, milk our pet goats, serve others, garden, live the gospel and to analyze the world around us. I can't even express the gratitude for the countless hours spent late at night working on the math homework that I chose to postpone. He helped me until it was completed and turned around the next morning and would wake up around 4 or 5 am to get to work on time. All just so I could get the assignment in on time.
My father would hardly yell in our home and has never treated my mother with anything less than love. He is the hardest worker I have ever met and I am constantly amazed by his knowledge of how to do just about everything! I think the single most important thing he ever taught me was not to limit myself. He has always challenged his kids to do their best and to continually learn about the world around them. I watch now with amazement as he falls into his role of "grandpa". My nieces and nephews adore him and he always has time to take them on tractor rides or go for walks with them.
I remember multiple times when my dad would invite homeless men in need of work to our home to help him in the yard. He paid them a fair wage and gave them food and water. I would watch as they would work together talking. One man passed on a paperback book to him as a gift. The pages tattered and torn but it made me realize how much this small thing meant to these men.
One year my dad took me on a backpacking trip to one of the tallest peaks in Utah. About 20 feet from the top I was toast. I had not adequately prepared for the task and my mind told me I could not possibly go any further. This had been my second attempt and my heart yearned to make it to the top. I couldn't see it happening though. I could only feel my legs giving out and my lungs burning. After five minutes of rest, grey clouds began rolling in and my dad looked at me and told me that I had to make the choice of whether or not we would continue. He wouldn't go on without me. Finally I stood up and slowly we completed the final ascent. My father helped me to stay focused on something I was certain I couldn't do. He let it be my choice in the end but climbed next to me every step of the way. Such has been the way most things in my life have been. He has always allowed me to make my choices and has continued to support me in them.
I can't begin to express the amount of love that I have for my father. He has always been supportive and loving and has taught me so much. Even the news of me marrying a man he had never met didn't phase him. He continued to be loving and supportive and even drove my belonging cross country so I would have them before moving to PA. He sacrifices so much for his family always going above and beyond.
Now to the future father of MY children. I have to say that I look forward to the time of raising kids with him with eagerness. I watch how committed and supportive my husband is to my step-son and how much effort he puts into teaching him the skills and values that I think I are so important to teach kids. Things like a good work ethic, resonsibility, knowledge and respect. I see these attributes so strongly laced in my husband and I know that he will work to instill these same things in our own children.
I am so thankful for the gift of fathers. Lastly, I must express gratitude for my Father in Heaven. Continually He teaches me what I need to know to get through life. Words can't begin to express but I must say that on a day such as this I am humbled at all He gives.
Vinyl Memories....
When I was a child I would spend countless hours in my grandmother's basement. We had the most glorious adventures down there with her cedar trunk full of dress up clothes, the old books full of poetry and children's stories, mostly though, it was the old record player that would hold our attention. She had books and music of all different types that we could choose from. We would carefully place the vinyl albums on the player and adjust the settings. Oh the memories of dancing to the music or sitting around listening to the stories! Sometimes we would get creative and move the settings on the player. One switch would distort the sound to make it low and slow while another did the opposite creating a high pitched speedy presentation difficult to even understand. These settings created discord in how the music and stories were meant to be heard. It made them difficult to understand and the clashing of sounds were difficult to listen to for any extended period of time without becoming greatly annoyed.
Sometimes I feel like my life is like this old record player. Sometimes I feel it emits beautiful music or stories of adventure and intrigue. Other times I can tell that things are "off". The settings are all wrong and the discord is truly "annoying". I know what everything is supposed to "sound like" but getting the switches all in place at the right time lately seems to be quite the chore. I finally get something in place the way that it should be and something else falls apart. I can't seem to get it all orchestrated long enough to really make a difference.
I miss the music.
Sometimes I feel like my life is like this old record player. Sometimes I feel it emits beautiful music or stories of adventure and intrigue. Other times I can tell that things are "off". The settings are all wrong and the discord is truly "annoying". I know what everything is supposed to "sound like" but getting the switches all in place at the right time lately seems to be quite the chore. I finally get something in place the way that it should be and something else falls apart. I can't seem to get it all orchestrated long enough to really make a difference.
I miss the music.
Trip to the Zoo...
Angry runner...
"To live greatly, we must develop the capacity to face trouble with courage, disappointment with cheerfulness, and triumph with humility." - President Thomas S. Monson
Throughout my life I have had a fairly easy time reaching goals, completing tasks, making friends. I have always had to work at what I do but it has all been fairly smooth. There have been brief moments where I have had to "fight" for my beliefs or morals. Slightly more often I have come face to face with doubts and fears but after moments of reflection and a desire to succeed, they never last long. Not THIS long. My mind fights daily with my body. The 5am mornings take a toll. I am not a happy person this early. I am not a happy person when I put so much time and commitment into something that yields such few measurable results. I want to quit every day but a switch has been flipped and I know that the only way out of this is through. Today peace came in the form of a magazine article. It talked about our tendency to be less than what we are capable of. It's comfortable. I know for myself if things get hard, or they hurt, or make me grumpy; I try to stay away. I don't want anything rocking this little boat that I am so comfortable in. Stretching beyond our limits is painful. We set ourselves up for rejection and failure...really, who wants to embrace that?! This article had the ability to remind me who I am and what I am here for. I am so thankful for this knowledge. It has the ability to give me confidence and courage but only when I remember it. I am almost to the point of being angry lately. I never felt like an angry person before. I see each day as a near failure because I am not where "I think I should be"...I suppose it is the pessimist in me. I am so thankful for this simple reminder today. I am hoping that tomorrow I can be reminded before I even get out of bed. This anger and disappointment really wears me out...
Throughout my life I have had a fairly easy time reaching goals, completing tasks, making friends. I have always had to work at what I do but it has all been fairly smooth. There have been brief moments where I have had to "fight" for my beliefs or morals. Slightly more often I have come face to face with doubts and fears but after moments of reflection and a desire to succeed, they never last long. Not THIS long. My mind fights daily with my body. The 5am mornings take a toll. I am not a happy person this early. I am not a happy person when I put so much time and commitment into something that yields such few measurable results. I want to quit every day but a switch has been flipped and I know that the only way out of this is through. Today peace came in the form of a magazine article. It talked about our tendency to be less than what we are capable of. It's comfortable. I know for myself if things get hard, or they hurt, or make me grumpy; I try to stay away. I don't want anything rocking this little boat that I am so comfortable in. Stretching beyond our limits is painful. We set ourselves up for rejection and failure...really, who wants to embrace that?! This article had the ability to remind me who I am and what I am here for. I am so thankful for this knowledge. It has the ability to give me confidence and courage but only when I remember it. I am almost to the point of being angry lately. I never felt like an angry person before. I see each day as a near failure because I am not where "I think I should be"...I suppose it is the pessimist in me. I am so thankful for this simple reminder today. I am hoping that tomorrow I can be reminded before I even get out of bed. This anger and disappointment really wears me out...
Baseball Season...
I love going to baseball games. I love being outside with the sun beating down and the smells of fresh brats and nachos. I love watching the game and feeling the energy of the fans. There are certain nuances that can only be picked up when watching a live game in person. While in NJ I had the opportunity to see the Yankees and the Mets play on a fairly regular basis. Now that I have moved to Milwaukee I have adopted the Brewers. Living in a city with a Major League Baseball team has really opened my eyes. Everyone here is a Brewers fan and there is an unbelievable amount of pride that goes into this team. The stadium is beautiful complete with a roof that opens up during nice weather and closes during rain. Attending the games are one of my favorite date nights....
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