Sundays...

I love them.

Today was a day. With football in season I find myself spending most sundays alone. It has been good. With many things in my life up in the air, I find joy in these quiet blocks of time when I can turn up the Jessie Funk, Mindy Gledhill and assorted hymns to reflect.

Today in RS the lesson was on a past conference talk given by Dieter F. Uchtdorf. It was on patience. I have heard the talk before but today it seemed to hit me in a very different way. I suppose the biggest reason for this is because I have spent the last six months waiting...patiently. (or trying to) With the task of trying to secure employment in WI, I have had to have a lot of faith. I applied for one job. It was the one I wanted. The one I knew I would do well at. The one I miss. In a failing economy I have people asking about the places I have applied. I respond with the name of one single agency. It is interesting the responses I receive. I get it. I would never encourage my clients to apply for one position and one only. I would probably say, "don't put all of your eggs in one basket." I suppose I just knew it was only a matter of time. However, even with that knowledge it required patience.

I have never been very patient myself. In this talk it mentions that impatience stems from selfishness. I suppose that if this is true (I believe it is) then the cure is selflessness. When I put life in the appropriate perspective, I see that it is someone greater than I who calls the shots. It is selfish of me to want to control it. To want the answers without the cost of waiting. When I am strong enough to surrender control I can be patient. I know that no amount of worrying or concern will hasten things along. It's not my schedule. I can be patient if I know that my future is in the hands of someone more capable, more wise, and more all-knowing than myself. Who wouldn't feel good about that.

I hate to turn this all into ramblings on patience but it hit me so hard today. I was also hit with the need to express a large amount of gratitude for everything that I have been blessed with. Perhaps the single most important is the love that I feel from my Heavenly Father. In the past I have often felt this through the actions and words of friends and family around me. Lately I feel it in the events that have transpired in my life. I am grateful for my family. I have a new nephew today and another addition will be joining our family in the spring. I believe they are already blessed given the family they will be raised in.

Truly blessed.

Lessons from a suitcase...

Tonight I was feeling a little down on myself. Nothing major, just feeling slightly--inadequate. Along with this came feelings of "homesickness". As much as I have moved around, "home" isn't really a place for me although Wisconsin is becoming so. "Home" for the most part has been that place in the middle of close friends. The kind that are so close you are convinced you knew them in an earlier life and in this one...they are more like sisters. I haven't been "home" in over a year. To stave off the homesickness I begin reviewing pictures of our last trip together. Road trip from SF to the Grand Canyon. Most years we leave the country but I couldn't afford it with the my final year of graduate studies upon me so instead they compromised to stay stateside...so I could go. It doesn't seem to matter the destination. Every year this is our time to catch up on each other's lives. To offer love, comfort, advice, or good laughs. I learn so much from these women in our 7-16 days living out of our suitcases together. I have crossed so many things off "my list" traveling with them. I love them each so much. I consider these relationships among my greatest blessings.