Six Year Anniversary...

I am terrified of heights...I mean it...I was rock climbing once near Monterrey in an indoor gym. I had one step left to reach the top. My feet were secure, I was tightly harnessed and I was just inches from completing the climb. I made a major mistake and I looked down for reassurance from the friends that stood below only to realize that I was off the ground at an uncomfortable height and no amount of persuasion or cheerleading was going to get me to take that last and final step. Years later I found myself talking to a good friend of mine about his skydiving career. He spoke of the jumps as an addict would speak of drugs or alcohol. Intense... urgent to get the next fix... unable to speak of a time without it. I stood there realizing that I had few things in my life I could speak so passionately about. So few things that would make me feel like this man did towards his chute. I envied him on so many levels. I would speak with him often. I expressed my long-time desire to jump and in the next breath, the fear that kept me from it. I would later learn that I was talking about bigger things than just skydiving. On August 17, 2002 I flipped out of a small two door plane attached to a strange man and a blue parachute. As I felt the wind against against my face so many thoughts flooded my mind. I thought of elementary school where an unexpected move left me friendless and awkward, so unsure of myself. I thought of the kids in junior high that always attacked the atypical, where differences and uniqueness were nothing more than social suicide. I thought of the rumors and betrayals that accompany most throughout high school. At 18 I had survived that but I failed to surpass it. In that moment of free-falling I learned more about myself than I ever had in the 18 yrs that had preceded it. I knew as the cord was pulled to release my chute and my body began to float, that I had been changed. I saw all the things I spoke of "wanting to do one day" and I realized that it had become merely that. Goals frozen by fears of danger, people, or failure...or in simple terms..."strictly talk". This weekend is my six year anniversary of that jump...the jump that inspired the list I often refer to. The list of things that become more than talk and allow me to live...Since then I have become a third level skydiver (this means I can go solo!) but even more I have learned to appreciate the ability to look fear in the face and to actually enjoy the fall...