Environment of Change...

Over the years I have had many friends male and female ending relationships or marriages due to the fact that their partner "changed". Prior to meeting John I was rather pessimistic about relationships. Really, what girl who has ever had her heart broken isn't. The frustrating part for me were the expectations that I saw my friend's spouses have for them. The pressures to remain the perfect size, never allowed to show they were having bad days, the need to be the perfect wife, cook, maid, and mother. Who can sit under those pressures without cracking? I guess for the most part it frightened me. One day I may develop a terminal illness, gain 50lbs, or decide that I don't LOVE washing dishes. Will that be ok? Will this be reason for divorce? For some close friends it has been. Some even simply decide they aren't in LOVE with their partner anymore.
This concept of marrying someone and expecting them to remain the same person that they were 10, 5, or even 2 years prior seems rather ridiculous to me. I would be rather unhappy with myself if I stayed the same. If I didn't progress. In fact, one of the top things I was looking for in a husband was someone who would challenge me to be a better version of myself. Kind of a contradiction because I also needed to find someone who loves me exactly as I am.
Carl Rogers was a human development theorist who believed that people have the ability to make positive changes in their lives through relationships with those around them that are full of what he referred to as "unconditional positive regard" and also the belief that people will do the best that they can in their individual situations. According to Carl, these are the things that create an environment for positive change.
I have been blessed throughout my life with amazing family and friends who for the most part have shown me this "unconditional positive regard". With it, I have reached goals that at times have seemed uncertain.
I sought after this in my husband. When I found it I knew he was a keeper. To be able to love someone fully for who they are and where they have come from, yet, simultaneaously to also inspire and support them towards positive change is quite an anomaly in my book. For me it's priceless.