Research....

Recently I have been really DISTURBED by a common theme in my life and even those of close friends. My entire life I have been overweight. I have refused to allow this to be something that limits me and although I eat pretty healthy and I am active I am still OVERWEIGHT. One of my ex-boyfriends commented all the time about how I didn't act like a "fat girl". He told me that it was because of my CONFIDENCE and the fact that I never seem to be bothered by my size where others might be. Jason was the first man I have ever dated to be completely comfortable with my physical appearance. He always made me feel BEAUTIFUL and amazing. He made me feel I could do anything. So why am I disturbed? Because I have friends that are unhappy with the fact that their wives have gained 20-30 lbs since their WEDDINGS. They are unhappy because their wives don't go to the gym as much as they think they should. I hear them make degrading comments and allow others to do the same. This makes me SICK. If it were an isolated couple I wouldn't feel so DISGUSTED but this is coming from multiple men who I have respected and considered friends. I also have a few friends on the other side who are the ones being degraded and broken down. I see them emerging with deep feelings of inadequacy. I see them downtrodden and discouraged and motivation lost. This makes me sad. The worst thing a man could do is to make a comment about a women's weight....especially if she isn't used to being that way or she is insecure. It will never leave her...

I wanted to know the perceptions of men regarding weight and with a research class on my plate this semester I began asking these QUESTIONS:

If your wife gained 30lbs in your first year of marriage would you consider DIVORCE? (yes I have actually gotten men who would!)

How would you TREAT her differently?

What would you do or say?

Would it effect any aspects of your RELATIONSHIP?

I appreciate that I have gotten a lot of answers that seem to be pretty honest. Women and weight are not always the most comfortable thing for people to talk about but I appreciate their participation. All I have learned from this is that my dating pool just got a whole lot SMALLER. I consider myself to be strong.... but this is one battle I will never fight. I have tasted the JOY that comes from someone accepting EVERY part of you and the drive and motivation that is fostered from that. I will NEVER accept anything less.