I sit through these classes that teach me the things I should say. We talk about the laws and the ethically binding responsibilities that we have as professionals in this field. I write papers and study for tests. My 4.0 gpa reflects my memorization of the facts and figures, the signs, and most importantly the action recommended. It wasn't enough.
I hear the words that you are saying but my mind races because surely this isn't real. Moments ago I was among friends playing cards...my favorite one with the phases...ten to be exact. I respond with a comment that sounds detached as though I just responded to a statement like "I just ate dinner" or "I have homework today". Not a response that your call should ellicit. What did they tell me I should say? What do you need to hear from me? How can I fix this? So unprepared.
We get off the phone but your words haunt me. I cant breathe as the heaviness of this encroaches me. I have been here before. You didn't take me there but someone close. I thought I would be stronger. I thought experience might have taught me something. So unprepared.
I'm sorry it wasn't enough.
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